Here is a short something I just wrote. I imagined it could be used in class somewhere (especially in Korea or Japan). Some brief notes follow.
They gave me a fork. I can’t believe it. They gave ME a fork. When I came in to the restaurant I even said hello in their language. Do they think I am fresh off the boat? Do I look like I don’t know what I am doing? Do I look like just another foreigner? I think it’s so rude they just think I can’t use chopsticks. They don’t even know me. I have been here long enough and I was pretty good with chopsticks even before I came here! I am so angry. I don’t think I can even enjoy my food. I don’t want to eat food prepared by people like this. They see my white skin and think I don’t even know basics like using chopsticks. It is so frustrating. I like living here but things like this really piss me off. It makes me want to go back home. I would understand if I just got here yesterday or if I hadn’t made the effort to learn the culture and the language. But I am different. I’m not like those other foreigners that come here and expect it to be just like home. I’m here for the cultural experience and part of that is eating with chopsticks. I practiced a lot and I think I deserve to be treated differently than people who just got here. I really don’t know what to do. I guess I will have to find a new place to eat lunch.
I was aiming for 250 words or so and it came out to be exactly 250. That was nice.
I was aiming for a Flesch Reading Ease of 90 and it came out to be 89.33 so I will call it close enough.
(All from here.)
Coleman Liau index: 4.39
Flesch Kincaid Grade level : 3.39
ARI (Automated Readability Index) : 2.2
SMOG : 7.18
I also played around a bit with http://www.lextutor.ca/ and got this tasty morsel:
“Chopstick has 1 natural occurrences in 10000000 words, but 4 occurrences in your 262-word text, which would work out to (4/262) x 10000000 = 152672 occurrences if your text were the same size as the corpus. The word is thus 152672 / 1 = 152672.00 times more frequent in your text than it is in the reference corpus. This probably means that the word plays quite an important (or ‘key’) role in your text.”
- I thought this might be something interesting for students to respond to. Even though it is only 250 words and written in relatively simple language I think and hope there is a lot to respond to there.
It seems to me that an exploration of cultural expectations would be a possible direction.
- Piss me off and (fresh) off the boat are likely expressions I would give special attention to as a teacher because it seems they might be more challenging than the rest of the language.
- I used the word just 5 times (5 times out of 250 words) so that is something that might be interesting to explore (especially as the meanings were bit different in each use).
- I have never been angered by someone giving a me fork.
- In real life, I received a fork yesterday and just smiled and used chopsticks
(because I thought it was easier for that particular meal). I didn’t take it as an affront.
- Update: Fun pronunciation possibilities playing with stressing different words in the title. THEY gave me a fork. They GAVE me a fork. ect. ect. ect.